Today I Read…Ensign Sue

Ensign Sue Must DieToday I read the Ensign Sue trilogy, Ensign Sue Must Die, Ensign Two: The Wrath of Sue, and Ensign Cubed: Crisis of Infinite Sue, written by Clare Moseley and illustrated by Kevin Bolk.

The multiverse is about to face the greatest danger it has ever seen–Ensign Mary Amethyst Star Enoby Aiko Archer Picard Janeway Sue! Torn between Kirk’s love and Spock’s (say what?), the seventeen-year-old medical officer, half-Russian, half-Vulcan, half-Japanese, half-Klingon, proud owner of Le Cutest of Beagle anda spunicorn (it’s like a unicorn, but it’s in space!), she is the most annoying creature the Enterprise has ever encountered. Unfortunately, in their desperation to get rid of this galactic pest, they accidentally ripped a hole in the space-time continuum and spread the Sues across the multiverse! It’s up to the crew of the Enterprise, the Doctor, and Wolverine (if there’s a team, he has to be on it), to travel the multiverse and trap the Sues in Pokeballs, and they gotta catch ’em all! But they have to be careful, because Sues lurk where you least expect…


Wrath of SueI found this comic at the Interrobang Studios booth at Fan Expo last August, and the premise was hilarious so I bought the trilogy and read it on the train home that night. And I was right–it’s terrific! Both wonderfully funny and an excellent examination of the dreaded Mary Sue trope, the third book takes a turn for the serious by making Mary Sue into a character with a deeper motivation than her pretty hair. All she really wanted was for the people she loves so much to love her back–something many fans would like. She just has to learn that she can’t force people to love her–again, a lesson a lot of people in real life could stand to learn.

Crisis of Infinite SuesThe illustrations are adorable, and I really love the Sues’ cheek cutie marks, that help differentiate their different universes. And Sulu’s frustration at Anna Mae Sue’s terrible pidgin-Japanese, and how Mirror-Sue is evil because of her outfit, and how Khan-Prime defeats Reboot-Khan, and Kirk’s despair over his own sue-ish tendencies, and how Bella Swan is too useless and boring to even be a Sue. Basically, I love everything about this series.

It will probably appeal most to fangirls, and ones who can see the funny side of fandom and fangirls. And remember–may the Sue be with you (’cause she’s driven everybody else crazy).

Today I Read…Shockaholic

Today I read Shockaholic, the second autobiography by Carrie Fisher, and sequel to the bestselling Wishful Drinking.Shockaholic

Carrie Fisher has perfected the art of skewering herself, with one exception: she just can’t stick the apple in her mouth, mostly because it would keep her from talking about herself and her crazy life. Said crazy life over the last few years includes losing her beloved father and former stepmother, Eddie Fisher and the legendary Elizabeth Taylor; writing and starring in her Emmy- and Tony-nominated one-woman show, Wishful Drinking, based on her first bestselling autobiography; and of course her growing addiction to Electro-Convulsive Shock Therapy, and it’s related memory problems. Shockaholic is Fisher’s way of dealing with her memory problems, by writing down her life–fortunately (or unfortunately, if you don’t like the book) she’s decided to share the products with the world. So sit back, have a drink (coffee, she’s also trying to stay sober), and listen to a tale of not that long ago, from a Hollywoodland far, far away…

I first read Wishful Drinking because Mom got us tickets to her show in Toronto a few years ago, and you can never let a book be spoiled. It was hilarious and I loved it, both the book and the show. I ran afterwards to the back door of the theater, and I managed to get the only autograph, since I guess she ran right out too.

Carrie Fisher is brutally, unrelentingly honest about her life and the mistakes that she’s made, but she never appears sorry for the drugs, career decisions, the invasion of her family’s privacy and mockery of her friends, the foul language, the devoted self-interest–on the contrary, she revels in it, since all of it comes together to create Carrie Fisher, a legend before her time who has spent the years since being Princess Leia finding out who she is underneath the silly white robe with no underwear. This isn’t so much a book as it is an experience, with a unique, oddly charming, and above all powerful voice. I’m still not sure I know who the real Carrie Fisher is, and she probably doesn’t either with all of the ECT she’s undergone, but whoever she is, she has balls bigger than Leia’s buns.